Why this “KOLAVERI” Da?


News channels in India became the wailing platform for an assortment of traumatized men soon after the country’s union cabinet cleared some amendments to the Marriage Laws (Amendment) Bill to give women a clearly-defined share in their husband’s “immovable residential property” — including that acquired before marriage — following divorce.

Men of various ages, and stature, were screaming their hearts and minds out, claiming women would start divorcing the husbands soon after the wedding night and get half of the “poor” chap’s property, with this kind of amendment. Hilarious, I would say. Why would any sensible woman agree to marry a guy she has no intention of spending the rest of her life with, just for his wealth? “Divorced” is not a status any woman would want to attach herself to, unless of course it is for some billionaire ex-husband, maybe. I don’t contest the chance of a few stray cases, however. But are there not rapists and serial killers among men? Does that mean all men fall into either of these categories and hence women should not marry men as such?! Common, grow up.

And, why do they not read the law in totality? If passed, the law will be a relief to the wife, whose share will only be decided by the courts, “considering her living standards”.So what’s problem man?

As per the latest amendments, while a wife would be eligible to oppose (read “challenge”, not STOP) a husband’s plea for divorce under the new “irretrievable breakdown of marriage” clause, the husband shall not have such right. Women are the weaker sex, and marital rape is committed on women, not men, so allow that privilege, won’t you?

Interestingly, when the bill was introduced, some senior politicians even argued that unless the matter of sharing assets was considered seriously, the proposed changes could be misused against the women. One pointed out that countries which allowed for irretrievable breakdown as a ground for divorce have a strong support system for the wife and children. What do we have in India?

I ask: Why was there no such concern and outrage when millions of women were married, slept with, impregnated and left holding the baby, when the “husbands” moved on, all these years, from the time of the evolution of human race? Well, I am talking about marriage laws in all countries that are anti-wife, elsewhere in the world as well.

And, sadly, like with any law or amendment that is introduced in our country, ways to circumvent it is conceived even before the law itself is finalized. So what would stop a man to safely tuck away all his immovable property before he divorces the “wife”? Hmm…

Men, THINK, think think think. Put yourself there. For the first 20 odd years of your life, you grow up in your parents’ home: loved, adored, protected, pampered, …like a princess. Then you are married off to some random guy you had briefly seen, often only once ( I am talking about arranged marriages in India) . In most cases, the bride is given away to the groom’s FAMILY along with a huge dowry. A night of married bliss, sometimes more nights and a baby later, the husband and his FAMILY discover your fatal defects: you don’t fit into the family, you cannot cook to their taste, you are not pretty enough or smart enough, whatever their limited creativity allows them to list. This follows endless rebukes, threats, neglect, ignominy from the husband’s family, with the distant relatives and neighbourhood aunts joining in. This could lead to a formal divorce, sometimes not even that, when the mentally tormented you are merely hurled back to your parents, as a bundle offer (with a baby of course), to figure out what had hit her in the first place!

Would you be good then, if you were the women in the situation? Quickly, look around, you know at least one such woman: a relative, neighbour, colleague, fellow passenger in a bus or train, or a maid, whose cleans up the mess in your kitchen.

You never felt sorry for these millions of emotionally scarred women, who have lost their lives to this fancy marriage fair in India, carried on from generation to generation, in the name of tradition! And now when there is a faint attempt to compensate these hapless women with judicial intervention, you have a case!

Men can be really loathsome, when it comes to ego. Sob sob…

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